Humour, philosophy, whatever :)

• I would not know whatThe spirit of a philosopher might wish more to beThan a good dancer.

• It is nobler to declare oneself wrongThan to insist on being right - especially when one is right.

• In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.

• Is man one of God's blunders?Or is God one of man's blunders?

• Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes

• The true man wants two things: danger and play.For that reason he wants woman,As the most dangerous plaything.

• There cannot be a God Because if there were one,I could not believe that I was not He.

• Two great narcotics: alcohol and Christianity.

• We love life, Not because we are used to livingBut because we are used to loving.

• The happiest moment of the happy manIs that of his falling asleep,Just as the unhappiest moment of the unhappy manIs that of his waking.

• We cannot put off living until we are ready...Life is fired at us point-blank.

• I don't know why we are here,But I'm pretty sure that it is notIn order to enjoy ourselves.

• There is no greater distress to be feltThan that of one human being.For if someone feels himself lost,That is the ultimate distress.

• The real question of life after death isn't whether or not it exists,But even if it does, what problems this really solves.

• There is no statement so absurd that no philosopher will make it.

• My advice to you is to get married:Iif you find a good wife you'll be happy;If not, you'll become a philosopher.

• It is the heart which perceivesGod and not the reason.That is what faith is:God perceived by the heart, not the reason.

• I have the true feeling of myselfOnly when I am unbearably unhappy.

• For what is man without desires,Without free will,And without the power of choiceBut a stop in an organ pipe?

• We are all mortal until the first kissAnd the second glass of wine.

• Life can only be understood backwards;But it must be lived forwards.

• There is merely bad luck in not being loved;there is misfortune in not loving.

• It was previously a questionOf finding out whether or not lifeHas to have a meaning to be lived.It now becomes clear, on the contrary, That it will be lived all the better if it has no meaning.

• It is a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people thinkThey can be happy without money.

• What is that which eternally is,Which has no origin?And what is that which arises and passes away,But in truth never is?

• Only the dead have seen the end of war.

• If it was so, it might be;And if it were so, it would be;But as it isn't, it ain't.That's logic.

• Philosophy consists very largely ofOne philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses.He usually proves it,And I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.

• If it turns out that there is a God,I don't think that he's evil.But the worst that you can say about himIs that basically he's an underachiever.

• More than any other time in history,Mankind faces a crossroads.One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness.The other, to total extinction.Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

• We should not worry about striving for happiness;Rather we must pursue ways to beProperly and productively unhappy.

• Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, It may have a meaning of which I disapprove.

• Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question.

• I drink to make other people interesting.